Friday, December 28, 2007

Shoes

One day recently, as part of the sometimes rather extended process of getting Noah out of the house to playgroup, I was looking for socks for Noah. We go through socks pretty fast. I mean, I wasn't setting the bar too high -- I wasn't looking for socks that matched, necessarily.

Noah began singing: "Socks... Socks... Socks... Ohmygod! Socks."

This made it clear to me that I must have been singing Shoes around the house.

This led immediately to the idea of a children's album entitled Otherwise Inappropriate Songs Reconfigured For Children, which would include such hits as "Justify My Snack", "You Sparkly Mamahugger", and "Pass the Duckie". I haven't gotten the version of "Shoes" entirely worked out, but it includes such lines as:

These shoes tie
These shoes snap
These shoes tie
These shoes snap
These shoes snap
THESE shoes snap!

and

These shoes have three hundred laces
These shoes have three hundred laces
These shoes have three hundred laces
LET'S TIE 'EM!

and

Um, these shoes have laces. I don't know if you can... put them on yourself. You're kind of... small...

Oh. Oh. Oh.
You know what?
SHUT UP POOPYHEAD!!
SHUT UP POOPYHEAD!!
SHUT UP POOPYHEAD!!

Let's tie some shoes.