5 June 2011

Dreams

I dreamed a dream that frightens me though it felt like one of hope. I dreamed that I was walking through an endless city, though at first it seemed familiar. I think that in this dream I was in my first year of high school, at least physically, though I was also me as I am now.

I passed down endless empty streets of grey buildings beneath a sky the color of iron. It grew colder as I walked and a wind blew in and chilled me. I wore only a thin jacket and pulled it tighter. I walked on and on. After a time, it began to flurry. I kept walking, aimless, but not lost; I don’t know where I was going but I knew that I must keep going.

Colder, colder it grows … and I saw a car coming along. It was a battered tan Saab, from the middle 1980’s. The car stopped beside me and the passenger door opened. I looked in and I saw Miriam, my sister’s friend. She gestured for me to get in. I do and off we drive.

I remember her; she was older than me, and she was cooler, prettier, smarter, the kind of girl you’re jealous of at that age. She was always nice to me so I am not surprised that here she is.

We ride out of the city; I don’t remember if we spoke. The snow flurries grow thicker as we drive. And on and on and on we go. The city fades around us, hidden by fast falling snow. The road vanishes behind us and before us; everything is white. Still we drive on.

And after a long time, the snow starts to weaken. We are still in a land of monochrome white but I know the storm will go now. We drive on and I see before us that the road is now visible, a black line across a featureless plain.

Then, brilliant, bright emerald green rising out of the snow like an island, I see a meadow where oaks and olives and other trees grow. Miriam drives towards it. Then, we are underneath the trees, walking on the softest grass imaginable. A party is going on. There are many people here, they are all smiling … and many of them are faces that I think I know.

It is warm; it is summer here and the sky is crystal blue even though the snows are not far off. I take a cup full of some sort of punch from a table and I walk into the happy throng. I feel a hand upon my elbow. I turn.

Twinkling eyes behind her glasses, it is my great aunt, Minnie, and she gestures me to sit by her. I do and she is asking me how life has been for me since we last spoke and I’m telling her and spilling everything to her as I always have … and I ask how she is; she says she’s doing well, that there’s someone she thinks I’d like to meet. It’s her brother, my grandfather, and he is engrossed in conversation with another man who, I realize, is my other grandfather … and I clasp them both and as I do, I realize that both of them are dead, and so is Minnie, so is Miriam, so is everyone at this party … all of them are dead …

And, as I wake with a start, I wonder if I am too.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

Beautifully written.

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